Bedtime Procrastination

During the winter months, it seems that everyone is feeling tired and lethargic. Making it through the day is an arduous drag. You tell yourself that you’ll have a relaxing night and treat yourself to an early bedtime, like your body is desperately begging for. But once you kick into the evening routine, your plan backfires and you end up staying up too late. You tell yourself to go to bed…yet you don’t. Then the next day it starts again - bedtime procrastination - also known as revenge bedtime procrastination.

Researchers have described this as “ the act of “going to bed later than intended while no external circumstances are accountable for doing so”. The “revenge” element is seen as a defiance of our increasingly demanding lives, and we subconsciously stay up late to fight back against societal expectations and personal time constraints. Unfortunately, it doesn’t serve us well in any way. The hard won time takes away from our restful nights sleep and the moments we stole the night before don’t feel worth it the next day. 

Sleep procrastination may show up in a couple ways. For some, they may avoid getting into bed (bedtime procrastination). Others might be in bed, but avoid falling asleep once they’re in bed (while-in-bed procrastination). Of course, cell phones can be a huge culprit in this. Most people admit to scrolling through their phone before bed. 

Bedtime procrastination can cause a variety of physical and mental health problems. Sleep deprivation can have a negative impact on thinking, memory, and decision making. People can become irritable and have trouble regulating their feelings. Daytime sleepiness can increase as a result of sleep deprivation, putting people at risk for accidents and reducing productivity. Work and school performance can suffer. Physically, people who are chronically sleep deprived are more prone to cardiovascular and metabolic disease.

The pandemic has likely made sleep procrastination worse. WIth many people working from home, it is much easier to stay up later with work, especially not having the obvious work/life balance separation of a commute. People with kids at home are likely seizing those few moments when their children are in bed to get some much needed peace and quiet. It makes staying up later even more appealing, given that the breaks between parents and children are lesser during these COVID times.

People who find themselves avoiding bedtime know and truly want to receive enough sleep, they just are unable to get themselves into the right routine and make sleep happen. Researchers suggest that this is due to struggles with self-regulation or self-control. Our natural ability for self control is lowest at the close of the evening and the demands of the day may cause increased stress levels, which make it hard to self-regulate. 

It’s helpful to note that bedtime procrastination can be worse during this time of year, when our circadian rhythm is a bit off anyway due to the lack of sunlight. Our natural flow of wake and sleep is already slightly dysregulated and our bedtime avoidance behaviors do not help at all. This means that the winter months are a great time to challenge yourself to get a better handle on your sleep schedule and behaviors. If you’re struggling with revenge bedtime procrastination, experts say to focus on self regulation techniques and good sleep hygiene. 

TRY THESE TIPS THROUGHOUT THE DAY FOR SELF-REGULATION 

• Cognitive reframing is a CBT skill to improve self-regulation. This strategy will help change your thought patterns, especially if you’re prone to rumination. Many people find themselves staying up late because they are fixated on their thoughts of negative things that happened earlier in the day. The key is cognitive reframing is to reinterpret a situation in order to change your emotional response to it. For example, imagine if a family member didn’t respond to an invitation to make plans. Instead of thinking it was something you did or that your family member is mad at you, you would tell yourself another possibility - such as, “my family member might be busy or didn’t get my message”. Research shows that this reframing skill will help with creating more positive interpretations of events and feelings of better control of your emotional reactions. 

• Mindful self-compassion skills also help to improve self regulation. You can use these tips throughout your day to keep a positive mindset when coping with daily stressors. One suggestion is to ask yourself “how would you treat a friend?” in situations where you are hard on yourself. Ask yourself how you would respond to a friend who was going through the situation you’re dealing with, and then treat yourself like that friend. Another suggestion is a journal prompt for self-compassion, where you write about “what makes you feel inadequate?” Explore what emotions come up when you think about this topic. Deal with any unpleasant feelings that arise by using “supportive touch”.  Gently place your hand, or both hands, over your heart, feeling the touch of your hand to your chest. Feel the natural rising and falling of your chest. Linger here until you feel calmer. 

TRY THESE SUGGESTIONS WHEN PREPARING YOUR EVENING ROUTINE

• The cornerstone of good sleep hygiene is a solid nighttime routine. Choose a consistent bedtime and include the following:

  • Stop drinking caffeine and alcohol in the late afternoon/evening

  • Put electronics away one hour before planned sleeping time

  • Engage in skincare, self-massage, journaling, tea drinking, stretching, reading, and other calming activities in the hour before bed

  • Get into bed at your planned time, avoid screen time from this point forward

  • Use deep breaking, meditation, music, or mindfulness activities to begin transition to sleep

• Practice goal setting and stick to your goals using self-talk. Create a list of daily goals, including a bedtime. List the routine you will do before bed and after you’re done with work or activities for the day, begin a self-talk narrative (out loud or inside your head), reminding yourself of your goals and time frames. For example - upon arriving home say “I’m home and I’m going to make dinner, relax until 8, put my phone down at 9 and then start my routine. I will get into bed at 10pm”.  As you go through the steps, repeat your narrative to yourself. 

TRY THESE CALMING EXERCISES WHEN YOU GET INTO BED:

• Practice “Boxed Breathing”. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and so on until you feel grounded. You can practice tightething different muscle groups, from head to toe, to make this a combination breathing and muscle relaxation activity and repeat as long as needed. 

• Engage the senses using  the “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise”. To use this skill, you will identify 5 objects, 4 different sounds, 3 textures, 2 smells, and 1 taste. Try to create a quiet meditative approach while you think and your focus will slowly move to the present moment, creating more physical and emotional calm. This is a good technique to practice when you get into bed to help transition into a sleepy state. You can do this more than once, changing the things you're identifying. 

• If you’re struggling to fall asleep, try distraction skills - such as listing categories. Pick at least two of the following categories and list as many items as you can in each one. Try to spend 2-5 minutes in each category (try going alphabetically!) to come up with as many as possible to pass the time. Examples - movies, cars, cereals, countries, books, sports teams, colors, cities actors/actresses, music bands, cars, fruits/vegetables, animals, etc.